


The Theory and Practice of Male Bonding

by aoigensou



Category: Free!
Genre: Free! Kink Meme, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Porn Watching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-21 02:47:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoigensou/pseuds/aoigensou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt from the Free! Kink Meme: <i>Haru thinks watching porn with a friend is a typical teenage bonding experience, so he invites Makoto to do just that. However, they both end up getting really horny and masturbating each other.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is no porn in this part, next part we will start in on that in earnest!

For the most part, Haruka tended to ignore his classmates in favor of staring out the window and daydreaming when they were between classes. He felt like he didn't have anything in common with them, and none of them ever actively engaged in conversation with him, which suited him just fine. The only person that ever went out of their way to talk to him was Makoto, and that was because they'd known each other forever. It made what might otherwise be a lonely existence -- if he were the type to get lonely, that is -- into one that was a little noisier.

But not exactly a bad noisy. Makoto was a good friend, after all. And regardless of how he acted toward him at times, Haruka liked and appreciated him.

However, there were some things that Haruka wasn't able to tune out in those short breaks between when one teacher left the room and another entered to begin a new class. Much of the time, it was inane chatter; the girls would talk about makeup and the latest male idol that everyone was swooning over, and the guys would talk about sports, which female upperclassman was the hottest and how many girls they'd gone out with. Haruka wasn't the least interested in those conversations. But sometimes, words whispered sotto voce and bawdy snickers would filter through his haze of indifference that would intrigue him.

"Could you believe how big they were?" One student said one afternoon, rousing Haruka from doodling in the margin of his notebook. Without moving his head he glanced over to a group of guys huddled around one desk. Makoto had been called out of the room by Nagisa for some reason or another, so he had an unimpeded view of the five or six boys clumped in the corner.

"I know!" the owner of the desk said, grinning like an idiot. "If you hadn't showed me, I never woulda believed it. And the way her mouth went around--"

"SHHHH," the rest of the group hissed, one boy slapping a hand over the owner of the desk's mouth. Haruka thought his name might have been Yukimura or Yukino or something like it.

"Are you trying to get us in trouble?" a different boy asked, looking around to see if the teacher had arrived yet. "You don't just say stuff like that out loud at school!"

Yukimura or Yukino or whatever peeled the hand from his mouth. "Sorry, didn't mean to," he said in a contrite voice. Haruka rolled his eyes, turning his head to look out the window once more. Clearly they were all idiots, and he'd exhausted the little attention he wanted to spend on them.

Apparently his temporary interest in the group had caught one of their attention, though, since the tallest one -- Haruka remembered his name was Moriyama -- looked straight at him and grinned.

"Hey Nanase-kun, you seem interested in what we're talking about," he said, walking over to Haruka's desk. Haruka tried to ignore him, glancing at the clock on the wall to see how long it was until school ended and he could go swim.

"Nanase-kun is interested?" the others said, following Moriyama over. Haruka sighed, resting his chin on his hand. What a pain in the ass. "He doesn't seem the type to be interested in _that_ kind of thing." The four guys behind Moriyama were exchanging leering glances and elbowing each other, and Haruka wished that Makoto would come back so he could shoo them away for him.

"If you want," Moriyama said in a conspiratorial voice, leaning close, "I'll lend you the DVD we were watching last night." Haruka continued to stare out the window, wishing that he'd take a hint and leave. Adult videos didn't really interest him, even though it seemed like it was a male bonding activity. Maybe ESPECIALLY because it seemed like it was a male bonding activity. He didn't have many friend of which to speak besides Makoto and the rest of the swim club members. And while male bonding with Makoto didn't sound completely awful, somehow showing Nagisa pornography seemed wrong in too many ways for him to be comfortable with it. Kou couldn't come for obvious reasons, and Haruka didn't trust Rei, not after Nagisa speculated that he didn't like water.

"Or better yet," Moriyama continued, heedless of Haruka's utter dismissal of his existence, "my brother has this video you might like. You're into swimming and pools and stuff, right? You'd love it."

It was like a switch had been flipped. Once more, Haruka's interest had been piqued. His eyes slid from the window over to Moriyama, who was turning around to grin at his pack of idiot friends. If the video included a pool, then it couldn't be completely awful. "Do what you want," he said. The group of students leaning on Makoto's desk started snickering, but any other reply they may have added was cut short by the arrival of both the teacher and Makoto. They dispersed back to their seats as the English teacher told them to take out their textbooks.

"What was that about, Haru-chan?" Makoto asked in a soft voice as he sat and pulled out his book. Haruka flashed him an irritated look at the nickname.

"Nothing," he murmured. The two of them quieted as the lesson began, but not before Makoto mouthed a quick _Okay,_ to him as he faced forward. Haruka sighed, glancing once more at the clock and counting the seconds until practice began.

The next day during the lunch hour, Haruka and Makoto were gathering their things to meet the rest of the swim club on the roof as they usually did. Haruka had all but forgotten the conversation from the day before.

"Hey Nanase-kun," a voice from behind them spoke, pausing both Haruka and Makoto as they exited the classroom. Haruka glanced behind him, and found Moriyama standing there with a grin on his face.

"Haru, I'll go on ahead and let the others know you'll be coming soon," Makoto said with a smile. Haruka nodded, and with a nod of his own toward Moriyama, Makoto left.

"Man, it's kind of surprising that a guy like Tachibana-kun is such good friends with you," Moriyama said as Haruka turned to face him. He must have had an annoyed expression on his face, since Moriyama raised his hands defensively. "I mean you're the cool, stoic type and he's... just more outgoing?"

Haruka gazed stonily at Moriyama as he spoke. He didn't tell him that their friendship was mostly Makoto's fault, even if he never said anything to Makoto to tell him that he was a little overbearing at times. It wasn't anyone else's business how their friendship functioned.

"Anyway! Here you go." A flustered Moriyama thrust a clear jewel case into Haruka's hands. "Like I said, it has a pool in it so you'll probably like it. It's my brother's DVD so if you could bring it back by next week...."

Haruka took the jewel case, and turned it over. On the front of one of the blank DVDs you could buy in electronic stores for cheap, someone had scrawled in messy katakana _Pool Party 7_. Well, the title at least had a pool in it; the rest remained to be seen.

As he looked at the DVD, he had been ignoring Moriyama, so when the other student raised his hand in a wave as he returned to his friends, Haruka had no idea what he had said, or if it had been important. Figuring it didn't matter, He walked the DVD over to his desk to slip it into the side pocket of his backpack. He grabbed his lunch and left the classroom, and as he left he could hear the snickers of Moriyama's friends following him out the door.

"Haru-chan!!" Nagisa's voice exuberantly greeted him as he opened the door to the roof. He dodged the oncoming tackle with a finesse born of doing it every day of the week for months, and walked over to sit in his usual spot next to Makoto.

"That didn't take long," he said, handing over a box of apple juice. Haruka took the juice, setting it next to him.

"It wasn't important," he said, opening his bento and beginning to eat. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the DVD. He had almost zero interest in it himself, so he was tempted to just give it back the next day and lie about having seen it. But seeing the way the group had talked about their own experience with Adult Videos, he wondered if a friendly bonding evening wouldn't be a good idea. Or if not good, then not-terrible.

Haruka glanced over at Makoto, who was talking to Rei in an animated way about something, then looked down at his rice and tamagoyaki. Makoto was always the one who was initiating the friendly parts of their relationship, maybe it was his turn.

"Hey Makoto," he said after a lengthy internal debate.

"Hm? What is it, Haru? Oh, you've hardly touched your lunch. The break is almost over." Makoto gave him a concerned look. Haruka rolled his eyes and shoveled some rice into his mouth to make him happy.

"Want to come over tonight?" he asked when he swallowed. Makoto looked surprised at the invitation, before giving him one of those gentle, sunny smiles of his.

"Sure. I'll let my parents know."

"Ehhh, I want to go to Haru-chan's house!" Nagisa said, earning a punch in the arm from Rei. Haruka ignored the noise, concentrating on eating. He didn't want to go to swim practice that afternoon without having lunch; he would wear out too quickly. The entire time he ate, though, his thoughts were not consumed by thoughts of water and its cool embrace, but by curiosity over how Makoto would react to his planned bonding activity.

That at least would be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon, when practice ended, it was just the four swimmers remaining after Kou left early to work on a new training regimen. Rei and Nagisa left together to catch a train, and Makoto let Haruka stay in the pool until the last possible second. He knew Makoto was letting him, that he wouldn't tell him it was time to go until just before the school would close for the night, but what Makoto didn't know was that if he asked, Haruka would leave any time. He wondered how long it would take for Makoto to figure that out.

As the two of them departed toward Haruka's house, their hair still damp from the showers and the sun low in the sky painting everything a rich orange, Haruka's attention wandered over to the shore. It was warm enough that he could go swim in the ocean if he wanted, but his time was taken up with swim club practice, and while swimming in the ocean had a certain sense of freedom it was nice to have a more regulated place to swim where the water wasn't in danger of pulling one of them out to sea on a mercurial whim.

"This was such a sudden invitation," Makoto said, startling Haruka out of his contemplation. He glanced over at his friend, only just turning his head away from the shore line. "Not that it's a problem or anything," Makoto added with a smile and a slight tilt of his head that Haruka thought was almost too cute for someone of his size and build. "I was just curious what brought it on."

In lieu of a verbal answer, Haruka paused his steps to slip his bag from his shoulders to fish the jewel case out of the side pocket and offer it to Makoto.

"I thought we could watch this together," he said as he pulled his backpack up onto his shoulders once more. Makoto turned the jewel case over in his hands, examining it.

"Pool Party 7...?" Makoto said after a moment, sounding unsure. "This sounds kind of..." he trailed off, green eyes searching Haruka's face for a reaction. He hadn't really expected Makoto to pick up on the _this is a porn DVD_ vibe, though he wasn't really sure why. Makoto came off as pretty innocent, but he was a teenage boy like the rest of them.

"Some of the guys in our class thought we should watch it," he said, going for nonchalant. Of course Moriyama and his friends hadn't specifically mentioned Makoto when they had insisted he watch it, but they seemed to like doing such things together. Makoto didn't need to know that he hadn't been included in the suggestion originally.

"Err... okay..." Makoto said, flipping the case open and shut in a way that looked nervous to Haruka. He wasn't sure what Makoto had to be nervous about, it was just going to be showing two people touching each other. It couldn't be any worse than some of the animal documentaries he had seen.

Dolphins having sex was something he wished he could erase from his memory. At least watching humans wouldn't be weird. He reached over to grab the DVD from Makoto, their hands brushing together lightly. Makoto pulled his hand back as though he had been shocked, and Haruka gave him a confused look before shoving the DVD back in his bag for the rest of the walk home. Neither of them spoke again until the steps leading up to Haruka's house were in view.

"I wonder if the kitten is around," Makoto said. Haruka didn't answer, though he did turn around when he noticed Makoto wasn't just behind him and was instead looking at the foliage on the edge of the stairway. When he noticed Haruka was ahead of him, he jogged up the few steps to catch up with him.

When they arrived Haruka walked into the house, toeing his shoes off in the entrance and setting them neatly off to the left. Makoto did the same, but Haruka didn't wait for him to finish. Instead, he walked down the hall to his bedroom, dropping his bag next to the desk and retrieving the jewel case from the side pocket. He heard footsteps behind him, and turned around to find Makoto poking his head inside the door. He exited the room, holding up the DVD.

"I'll go get this set up," he said, pointing toward the living room. Makoto nodded, entering Haruka's room to stash his own things. Haruka loosened his tie as he walked over to the television, popping the jewel case open with his thumb and hitting the power button on the DVD player with his other hand. He deposited the DVD into the tray.

"So do you know what exactly we're watching?" Makoto asked as he entered the living room. Haruka glanced over his shoulder at him, and shrugged one shoulder. Makoto laughed. "That doesn't bode well, hm?"

Haruka didn't answer, he simply retreated to the couch, sitting himself on the floor in front of it. Makoto did the same, settling himself a couple of feet from him. They were separated enough that they wouldn't touch each other accidentally, but close enough that if one of them reached over they could hold hands. Haruka looked at the blank floor between them, considering the distance before grabbing the remote from the table to start the DVD.

He hit play and set the remote aside. Instead of a menu, the video started immediately, fading in on a pool. Haruka raised his eyebrows. He hadn't actually believed Moriyama when he had told him that there would be a pool. It wasn't the same as actually being in a pool himself, but it was enough to keep his interest for the time being.

"Oh hey, maybe it really is about a pool party," Makoto said, and Haruka didn't correct him. He knew what sort of movie this was, and though he hadn't exactly been avoiding telling Makoto he just hadn't thought to let him know that his initial instinct was probably the correct one. It was a little late to rectify that so Haruka remained silent, figuring that he'd find out eventually on his own.

The video panned over the pool, zooming in on two young-looking men who were splashing around. It reminded Haruka of that evening in the Samezuka swimming pool when Nagisa goaded Makoto into a splash fight. The two men on-screen both had black hair shiny with water, and their upper arms didn't have the build of a swimmer. Not that Haruka had expected them to, in a video like that. He wondered when the girls would show up to get things started.

"Two people isn't much of a party," Makoto said with a nervous-sounding laugh. Haruka glanced over at him, considering bringing up the fact that it was just the two of them. Instead, he just shrugged, his attention turning back to the pool onscreen.

The dialogue was too low to hear clearly, but Haruka figured it didn't matter anyway since the video was not for its scintillating plot or thrilling dialogue, but for something a lot more basic. Makoto leaned forward, trying to catch the dialogue, but Haruka didn't bother. The two men were laughing and making some sort of joke, and pushing each other's shoulders playfully. Then one touch lingered too long to be simply friendly, and their gazes caught. Haruka's waning interest caught once more, and his eyebrows raised fractionally.

"Haru...?" Makoto asked, his voice trailing off as the two men moved closer to each other. Something twisted in Haruka's stomach as he realized they were going to kiss, that maybe there weren't any girls in this film, that the two men in the pool were the only stars of that Adult Video. That his classmates were probably playing a trick on him, making fun of him.

And maybe he didn't mind as much as he should have.

Haruka didn't have much time to examine that thought before the two men started kissing in earnest, and Haruka could see that one was gripping the other's shoulder so tightly that the tanned skin was turning white beneath his fingernails.

"Haru, what is this?!" Makoto choked, sounding panicked. He was no longer leaning forward, and had his head turned away from both the screen and Haruka. He could see that Makoto's ears were red from what he assumed was embarrassment, and wondered if he would have had the same reaction if the video were with a man and a woman instead of what it was.

"Do you want to stop?" Haruka asked instead of directly answering Makoto's question. Makoto turned his head slowly to look at Haruka, biting his lip the way he sometimes saw him do when he was nervous about something. Out of the corner of his eye, Haruka saw the two men's mouths open wide, their tongues slipping against each other as one pushed the other toward the edge of the pool. He wondered if they were going to spend the whole video in the water, or if they'd get out. He knew from his own experiences with water that it was wet, but it wasn't the right kind of wet when it came to body parts sliding together easily.

"Do you?" Makoto asked, looking down at his knees, his hands gripping the fabric of his uniform pants tightly. The question was punctuated by the soft, wet sound of an openmouthed kiss parting, and the sound of two people panting before initiating another.

Haruka looked at Makoto for a few seconds longer, before turning back to watch the two men kissing again. He didn't mind if they stopped, but he wasn't going to be the one that stopped it. He was curious how far Makoto would let things go, especially with the unexpected twist of it being a gay AV rather than what he had assumed it would be given the tastes of his classmates.

"We can stop whenever you want," he murmured, and saw Makoto nod in response. He didn't tell him to end it, though, which was definitely interesting to Haruka.

 _Do you want to?_ one of the men asked the other, who nodded. Haruka wasn't sure what they had agreed to, and wondered if all Adult Videos had bad sound quality or if this one was just a bad example. The question left his mind when he saw one man lift the other to sit on the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water. He was wearing a speedo, and it was obvious by the way his cock was clearly outlined that he was turned on by all the kissing and touching. The man still in the water spread his legs, standing between them so he could lean down and trace his tongue over the shape of it through the wet speedo. Involuntarily, Haruka was reminded of Rei's first few days in the swimming club, wearing Nagisa's spare speedo. He didn't look anything like that, though, aroused and panting with someone's mouth on him.

Haruka inhaled, his breath a little shaky, and glanced over at Makoto as he wondered what he would look like in a speedo. Makoto had always favored the longer swimsuits that covered more of his legs so he didn't have to worry so much about shaving. Haruka thought he would look good in a speedo, since he had a good body shape for it. Even if it was just for practice and not for competition. Even if it was just once, for him to see.

As he looked over, his thoughts filled with his nearly-naked friend, he heard Makoto suck in a gasp, and watched him squirm as if he were uncomfortable. His cheeks were red, and his hands were folded in his lap, firmly unmoving while his legs seemed restless, as if he were trying to hide something with those hands.

His eyes flicked back to the screen in time to see the man in the pool starting to peel the other's speedo down to reveal his hard cock. Not long after, it hit Haru that Makoto _was_ hiding something. He glanced over at Makoto once more, who was staring straight ahead as if it were his mission to keep watching or die trying. His hands still hadn't moved, except to press one between his legs as discreetly as he could.

_Makoto had an erection._

Haruka whipped his head around to stare blankly at the TV, hyper aware of every movement Makoto made next to him. Was that normal, getting an erection while watching porn with your best friend? Of course it was normal to get one while watching porn, he supposed, since that was what it was there for. But was it supposed to happen when you were in the same room as a friend watching it?

The wet sounds of a mouth on a cock coming from the television broke through his frantic thoughts, and Haruka gave up on trying to figure out what was normal and what wasn't. He hadn't been normal since he was a child, so it was stupid to start trying to be normal now. His "normal" wasn't coming for a few more years, after all. The two of them were in a room together watching pornography, and one of them had an erection. It wasn't as though Haruka was horrified by the thought. No, it was closer to curiosity for him. He knew what his own dick looked like when it was hard; what did Makoto's look like? Would it be the same size? The same shape? If he touched it, would it feel the same in his hand as his own? Blowing a breath out that ruffled his bangs, Haruka stole another glance at Makoto. He almost looked as though he wanted to get up and run away, and Haruka wondered why he hadn't asked to shut the video off yet.

"It's okay," he finally said, his own voice somewhat shaky. The sound caused Makoto to jump, looking over at Haruka with a guilty expression.

"What?" Makoto said, going for innocent and not fooling Haruka for a second. "What are you talking about?"

Haruka glanced down at Makoto's crotch very deliberately, then back up at his friend's face. "It's okay," he repeated. The redness spread from Makoto's cheeks and the tips of his ears to his entire face, and he raised his hands, moving them from hiding his erection to hiding his eyes. This left Haruka with a front-row seat to the tent in Makoto's pants. Even if he hadn't been looking for it, it would have been very difficult to miss. Haruka could tell by the way his pants were tented that Makoto's dick was pressing firmly against the back of his zipper. 

The sounds of panting and sucking in the background were nothing to what the sight of Makoto's clothed dick did to Haruka. His mouth went dry as he felt his own cock stir at the sight of his friend's arousal, something that the Adult Video had started to do. But Makoto was the one that finished the job, and as Haruka pressed his own hand against his tenting pants he fought his own blush. It was only fair that if Makoto was dealing with it, he should too, right? The hand pressed between his legs provided little relief for the sudden pressure of his erection, and as he rearranged himself in his pants to be somewhat more comfortable, he fought the urge to just start stroking himself.

Taking a steadying breath, Haruka took his hand away from himself to touch Makoto's shoulder, doing his best to reassure him that it was fine, that everything was okay and he wasn't going to make fun of him for something that he couldn't control. The last thing he needed was Makoto having an aneurysm in his living room because of a boner.

"Makoto, look. It's _okay_ ," he said for a third time, pointing to his own lap situation when he had Makoto's attention. He could feel the weight of Makoto's gaze on him, and in a way it felt _good_ ; it almost felt empowering, and it was sexy as hell to have those eyes on him. Haruka flicked his tongue out to wet his lips, his eyes watching Makoto looking at him.

After several long seconds, Makoto's eyes traveled up, and they locked gazes. Haruka felt his face heat up, and in the silence punctuated by pleasured cries and heavy breathing coming from the TV speakers an awkwardness spread that was different than it had been when they first started the video. The two of them simultaneously turned their heads to stare back at the television, with the irreversible knowledge that they were centimeters apart watching two men suck each other off while they tried to ignore their own hard cocks.

Not looking at each other didn't help alleviate the awkwardness, it only enhanced it. Haruka was intensely aware of every shift Makoto made, every breath he took and every twitch of his hand as he fought to keep them resting on the floor to either side of his legs. Haruka's own hands were firmly planted on his knees, and if he wanted to he could reach over to take Makoto's hand in his own.

He didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the good stuff, but not quite there yet. More will be coming soon guys I promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Haruka had never really understood the concept of tension before. Sure, he knew intimately the tight anticipation that he always felt on the starting block before a race began. There was the raw dread of being unprepared for an important test. There was the vague and formless grip of need from a body thrumming with hormones looking for an outlet. But sitting next to Makoto as they watched two nameless men touching each other, knowing that both of them were aroused at the sight -- though for Haruka it was more the fault of Makoto than any of the sights or sounds coming from the TV -- Haruka felt true tension radiating from the two of them. It was so thick in the air that he thought he could drown in it.

The scene in the film switched, drawing Haruka's attention from his thoughts back to the two young men on screen. They had both exited the pool, and were in a lounge chair. One of them was on his back, his legs spread wide and his knees drawn up to his chest. The other was kneeling between his legs, leaning down to kiss and lick his still-hard cock. The one on his back moaned loudly as the other took his balls into his mouth with an audible sucking sound. Haruka blinked curiously as he watched the man let the balls slip from his mouth and traced a wet trail with his pink tongue down from the saliva-covered testicles to tease at the ass of the squirming, moaning man beneath him.

Next to him, Makoto made a strangled noise that tore Haruka's attention from the television back to his friend. Makoto's face was redder than Haruka had ever seen it, and his eyes were wide with focus on the screen. Haruka glanced down at Makoto's lap, finding that his hands were resting on his thighs, fingers curled in the fabric of his uniform pants while his erection was unflagging. Makoto uncurled one hand, wiping it on the fabric of his pants -- Haruka figured that his hands were sweaty, from arousal or keeping them balled up like that, or both -- and the way the fabric pulled, rubbing the back of the zipper against Makoto's cock made him shift, another noise escaping from his throat.

Haruka swallowed, struggling to take his eyes from Makoto and put them back on the screen. He could hear the wet, lapping noises of the tongue against the ass hole of the man laying on the lounge chair, but none of that was as interesting as watching Makoto fight his own need. He did his best to not look as though he were staring at Makoto, since he was embarrassed enough as it was, but what little interest he had in the porno playing on the TV was rapidly waning in favor of imagining what his best friend would look like while he was jerking off. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he wiped his own hands on the knees of his pants. The material tugged, sending a wash of sensation over him as the friction of cotton on his hard dick made his balls tighten. He could feel his heartbeat throbbing through his cock, and the muscles of his abdomen were tense with the combination of need and restraint.

"It's fine if you want to..." Haruka said without thinking, his voice tight. He made sure to keep his eyes straight ahead, not looking at Makoto, not looking down at himself, not even really seeing one actor fucking the other with his tongue. He didn't elaborate, just let the half-formed invitation hang in the air between them. He wondered if Makoto would get the meaning, and was curious if he would take him up on the offer if he _did_ understand.

Haruka felt Makoto go utterly still next to him, and he wondered if Makoto was even breathing. He didn't want to turn and check, in case he ended up scaring Makoto into bolting. The only sound in the room was the sound of the moans of the porn actor as he was rimmed, punctuated by the soft sound of Haruka's breathing in his own ears. It felt as though time were slowing to a crawl as he waited for Makoto to do something, _anything_ to break the stalemate they found themselves in.

Finally, after what felt to Haruka like an eternity, Makoto let the tension drain out of his body as his hands moved to cup his erection through his pants. At first, it seemed as though he was just going to readjust his dick so it could lay more comfortably against his stomach instead of pressed against the seam of his fly, and perhaps that's what Makoto had intended to do, but as soon as his hand moved his dick, and he felt the friction and the heat of his palm, he seemed to lose control of himself. He pressed his palm firmly against his dick, the fabric of his pants stretching over it and affording Haruka a view of the outline of it before Makoto covered it with his other hand, using both to touch himself. His breaths came in short, desperate pants, and Haruka felt a shiver run up his spine at how needy Makoto sounded.

Haruka was straining his eyes trying to keep his head facing the television but watching Makoto at the same time. Makoto was still squirming next to him, but for a different reason than before. He drew one knee up, moving the other leg to the side to spread his legs and give himself more room to touch himself. Haruka didn't dare blink in case he missed something, his own dick painfully hard. Makoto's mouth fell open, his tongue tracing his lower lip to wet it before his upper teeth catch the corner of it. The sound Makoto made, as if he were holding back a full moan that somehow managed to half-escape anyway, made Haruka abandon all pretenses of not staring at him. As Makoto's sense of shame was swallowed up by his need, so was Haruka's modesty. His head turned to watch Makoto grind his palm against his cock; the soft sound of the material of his pants rubbing against the material of his underwear was somehow more lewd to him than the wet sounds of sex coming from the TV.

Makoto's movements were rushed and jerky, and Haruka found himself wondering what it looked like when Makoto was alone, masturbating at his own pace instead of one set by his need and surroundings. He watched the way each sensation played across Makoto's face; his teeth digging into his lip, his eyes fluttering shut, his jaw tensing and relaxing. And before he knew what he was doing, Haruka reached over to touch Makoto's hand, covering it with his own as Makoto moved it over his cock. Makoto's entire body jerked at the intrusion into his personal space, and his eyes flew open. His mouth dropped open, teeth scraping over his lip and leaving it slightly swollen, something that Haruka found alluring in an unexpected way. Haruka moved his hand, slipping his fingers between Makoto's until he felt the taught fabric beneath them, and the hint of hard flesh hiding within.

"Is it okay...?" Haruka asked, his eyes catching Makoto's gaze. They held the stare for the space of several heartbeats, before Makoto blew out a shaky breath.

He begged Haruka with a single word. "Please...."

Carefully, Haruka moved Makoto's hands away from his dick so he could use his own to trace the contour of it. He was focused on noticing the differences between theirs, though it wasn't easy to tell with the layers of clothing between him and Makoto's cock. He could feel the ridge of the thick vein running along the underside, and the shape of the head as his fingertips teased the dip where his slit was. Makoto made another strangled sound, and covered Haruka's hand with one of his own, guiding his movements in more of a stroking motion and less of an exploratory one. Makoto's hips thrust up in tiny, jerky motions at his touch, seeking out a firmer friction than he was being given.

Growing impatient, Haruka pulled his hand away from Makoto's dick, ignoring the way he arched up and whimpered in favor of shifting himself so he could use both hands to unbutton and unzip Makoto's pants. The teeth of the zipper resisted, and Haruka frowned in concentration as he tugged at it. Makoto choked back a sob of need, and when the zipper finally gave, Haruka lifted his eyes to meet Makoto's. He had never seen such raw need before, and it sent a thrill of power through him that left him tingling.

"Haru...." Makoto groaned, his eyes flitting down to his crotch where Haruka's hands had stilled.

"Sorry," he murmured, peeling the edges of the fabric apart and shoving the bottom of Makoto's shirt up so he could see the way that Makoto's hard cock bulged the front of his dark green boxer-briefs. There was a damp spot near the head of Makoto's cock that darkened the fabric, and Haruka ran his thumb across it, his thumbnail scraping lightly across the dip of the slit.

"Nngh...!" Makoto bit his lip as his hips jerked, and Haruka felt his own dick twitch at the way he sounded, at the way Makoto's cock was so hot against his hand, and the way the wet spot was growing larger at his touch. He slipped his fingertips beneath the waistband of Makoto's underwear, pulling them down to free his cock. He didn't stretch the fabric enough, though, and Makoto's dick got caught for a moment, before springing free and slapping against Makoto's abdomen.

The video was completely forgotten, ignored as white noise as Haruka slowly wrapped his fingers around Makoto's cock and stroked it. It was unfamiliar in his hand, a slightly different shape and length, but it felt good. It felt like something he wouldn't mind having in his hand more often. Haruka ran his thumb across the slit once more, spreading the pearly precome across the ruddy head, earning a keening moan from Makoto.

Makoto's head fell back, caught by the couch cushion as his eyes squeezed shut. Haruka heard his name in the soft moan that escaped his lips, which spurred him to speed his movement up. He wet his lips, his eyes intent on Makoto's dick as he stroked it the way he liked to be touched. He wondered how Makoto jerked himself off, if he was soft and sensual or fast and eager; maybe it was something in between. Haruka paused for a moment, taking his hand off Makoto's cock to lick his palm before grabbing him again, the saliva slicking his hand making it easier to move faster. The soft sounds of skin-on-skin echoed by the background noise of fucking coming from the TV. Makoto gasped for breath his toes curling in his socks.

As he stroked Makoto with his right hand, Haruka's left hand found its way to his own lap, grinding his palm against his own cock to try and ease the ache of need. It felt amazing though he wasn't doing anything special to himself, the situation and Makoto's breathy gasps heightening the experience. Haruka considered pulling his own cock out to mirror what he was doing to Makoto's cock, but he was robbed of the chance to do so when Makoto's body tensed and his cock twitched in his hand. Several seconds later, before Haruka was even aware of what was happening, Makoto was biting his lip as his cock spilled thick, white come down his fingers. Compared to the two men in the video, Makoto was absolutely silent. All Haruka heard were swallowed groans that Makoto smothered with a hand. It was almost disappointing that he couldn't hear the sounds that Makoto made when he came, but he knew that Makoto lived in a house with two nosy siblings so discretion was vital in such situations.

Haruka continued to stroke Makoto through his orgasm, the come slicking his hand more than his saliva had and making it easier for him to glide over the still-hard cock. When Makoto's body relaxed and Makoto gave a satisfied sigh, Haruka gingerly removed his hand from Makoto's cock and focused on himself. He had never been harder in his life, and he couldn't wait to free his dick after having been confined in his uniform pants for so long at such an awkward, almost painful angle. He fumbled with the button, Makoto's come on one hand making it more difficult to work the button out of the hole. A hand on his wrist made Haruka pause, looking over at Makoto who was giving him a lidded look.

"I want to help," Makoto whispered, his voice thick with leftover arousal and so sexy that Haruka almost couldn't breathe. He swallowed, nodding his assent; Makoto smiled at him and popped Haruka's button open with much more ease than Haruka had managed. Without pulling his pants or underwear down, Makoto slipped his hand inside of Haruka's clothes and found his cock. At first he petted it, and it was enough stimulation to heighten his need but not nearly enough to satisfy him. He blew out a shaky breath, bringing a hand up to wipe sweat from his forehead and leaving a streak of Makoto's come across his skin and in his hair. He couldn't bring himself to care, though, once Makoto curled his fingers around his cock and tugged at it. Haruka's mouth dropped open, his eyes shutting as he gave himself over to the feel of an unfamiliar hand on his dick. He guided Makoto's hand through his pants, urging him to go faster, to grip him tighter; they fell into a rhythm that had Haruka grunting with each breath.

The time it took for Haruka to come, his release coating the inside of his underwear, was embarrassingly short but he didn't have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about it. He had his eyes squeezed so shut so tight that his vision swirled with pinpoints of light resembling stars. Haruka didn't notice Makoto removing his hand from the front of his pants, and when he finally regained his senses his mouth was dry from panting with his mouth open.

Haruka felt a tap on his shoulder, and found Makoto leaning close to him with a package of tissues. His gaze was fixed on his own lap, as if he had regained his sense of shame, something Haruka thought was a little silly considering that they'd just had their hands on each other's dicks. What else was there to be embarrassed about after something like that? Haruka took the tissues pulling several out to wipe his hand clean of Makoto's come. He figured the rest would be taken care of in the bath and laundry.

The two of them sat there, side by side, in silence. Neither of them moved, neither of them looked at each other. The television was blank, the film having ended sometime while they had been touching each other. Haruka didn't know what to say to break the silence, to somehow make things go back to normal between them. He wondered if things would ever be normal between them again. He didn't mind that they had done what they had done, he wasn't having an existential crisis or anything, but he didn't know if the same could be said about Makoto. It didn't seem right to just come out and ask him, though, so he kept quiet.

"I should go," Makoto said, his voice sounding abnormally loud in the thick silence. Haruka turned his head to face him, eyebrows raised. "My parents will worry," Makoto explained, a fragile smile on his face.

"Okay," Haruka said.

The two of them stood, and Haruka quickly buttoned his pants so they wouldn't fall off of him as they walked to his room to get Makoto's things. Haruka followed him to the entryway, and watched as Makoto left, his eyes on Makoto's back until he was no longer visible. Haruka shut the door, running his hand through his hair with a sigh and meeting resistance from the drying come he had smeared there. Dropping his hand, he headed toward the bath.

Later, once he had cleaned up and done his laundry so he could have a clean uniform for school the next day Haruka was sitting in his room contemplating doing his homework or skipping straight to bed. He cell phone, sitting on his desk, vibrated, and he glanced over at it before standing and looking at it. It was a text message, and before he could second-guess himself, he opened his phone to look at it.

 

From: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: Tonight  
Date: 09/13 21:47

I've liked you for a long time now, Haru. Thank you for today.

 

Haruka stared at the message, his heart skipping a beat. He had always sort of known that Makoto had liked him, but seeing it in writing made it real. He hadn't been expecting a confession from Makoto; he had thought they were just going to continue on like they had been. Haruka clutched his phone tightly, not knowing what to think, or say, or _do_. The phone vibrated in his hand, indicating another message. Haruka tapped a button to bring it up.

 

From: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: Don't worry  
Date: 09/13 21:53

You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.

 

It was a way out, a way to force things back to the way they were. If he never acknowledged Makoto's confession, then they could act like it never happened. That night could be something they looked back on and laugh about when they were grown. He didn't regret it, but he hadn't realized it would lead to something he didn't know if he was ready for. The two of them were going to be together for the rest of their school career, another year and a half, and Haruka was reluctant to make things weird between them. He wasn't rejecting Makoto, not exactly. He didn't think he would mind being his boyfriend, as long as it didn't ruin their friendship. As long as Makoto was next to him, he was satisfied.

For now, he thought it was best to just wait and see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope not done yet. Stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning started a little differently for Haruka than he was used to. Normally he got up and got straight into the bath, and that morning he did, after checking his phone for any new messages -- there weren't any, and Haruka pretended that's what he had been expecting all along, even if his stomach did an unfamiliar fluttery thing that made him feel like he might be catching the stomach flu. He soaked in the bath, letting the warm water soothe him the way it always had. His eyes kept darting over to the door, though, expecting Makoto to walk through without knocking the way he always did. When it was far beyond the usual time Makoto showed up, Haruka pulled himself from the tub with a frown.

Makoto always picked him up. It was just a part of their morning routine.

By then it was so late that Haruka didn't have time to grill his usual mackerel breakfast if he wanted to be on time for school. He glared at the front door on his way back to his room to change into his uniform, as if it was personally responsible for his predicament and not his reliance on Makoto to keep a punctual schedule. For breakfast, he grabbed a leftover protein bar that Rei had forced on everyone during practice the week before, saying that it would help build muscle. It tasted like chalk, and Haruka made a face at it as he grabbed his bag -- DVD already placed inside to return when he got to school -- and left the house.

There was still no sign of Makoto as he left, locking the door behind him. The phone was silent in his pocket.

When Haruka arrived at school, five minutes before the final bell, Makoto wasn't there. His frown deepened as he hung his backpack on the side of his desk, fishing the DVD from the side pocket. Moriyama and his friends were huddled around one of their desks as they always were between classes, and hadn't seemed to notice his arrival just yet. That suited Haruka just fine.

He approached the laughing group of classmates, who went silent when they caught sight of him. A couple of them started grinning knowingly as he walked up, but most had a curious look on their faces. Moriyama raised a hand in greeting.

"Yo, Nanase-kun. What's up?" He asked in a casually cheerful voice. Instead of answering, Haruka held up the jewel case, the handwritten _Pool Party 7_ facing the group of students. He let it dangle between his thumb and forefinger, before flipping it in a smooth motion to offer back to Moriyama held between his index and middle fingers. Moriyama stared at him, seeming dumbfounded at the casualness with which Haruka handled it.

"Thanks," was all Haruka said, turning to return to his seat once Moriyama had taken the DVD back.

"Wait, you didn't actually watch it, did you?" Moriyama asked, disbelieving, pausing Haruka's retreat. Haruka glanced over his shoulder, giving the group of friends a dismissive shrug and a look that said _You're just going to have to wonder about that forever, aren't you?_

The group of friends broke out into furious whispers as Haruka began walking again. Haruka tuned them out with the practiced ease of someone with a lot of experience ignoring annoying things. He didn't care what they thought of him. He didn't much care what anyone thought of him. The exception to that, unsurprisingly, were Rin and Makoto.

Makoto. Who still hadn't shown up for class even though the final bell had rung and Ama-chan-sensei was calling for silence so she could take attendance. Makoto almost never missed school. He was annoyingly reliable and responsible that way.

Haruka frowned over at the empty seat beside him, his mechanical pencil tapping the desk idly. Makoto hadn't seemed like the type of person to run away in the face of a potentially awkward situation. He was more the type to go on like before, pretending as though nothing had happened.

_You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know,_ the text had said. Makoto had seemed normal, if a little shy after they had... well. And embarrassment was only natural, Haruka supposed, though he hadn't felt much embarrassment himself. He had only felt a formless sort of need as he had watched Makoto's expressions. His want, his pleasure, his release.

Haruka surreptitiously slipped his phone out of his pocket as the class representative stood to talk about plans for the cultural festival. He flipped it open.

Still nothing.

Maybe Makoto was sick, he thought as he glanced out the window, half-expecting to see Makoto jogging across campus with that panicked look he got on his face sometimes, usually when Haruka was about to try and swim somewhere he shouldn't have. Haruka liked that look; it was the reason he tried swimming half the places he tried.

Sighing, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and made an effort to pay attention to what was being said. It was hard, though, with the conspicuously-empty seat next to him, and no message from the owner of said seat letting him know that he was fine and wasn't avoiding him or something ridiculous like that.

Makoto wouldn't avoid him just because of what happened between them. Makoto had more guts than that. He didn't avoid water because he was afraid of it; he faced it, going so far as to join the swimming team when anyone else would have joined the tea ceremony club or something else as far from a pool as you could get.

Haruka blinked, wondering if Makoto did it all for him. A second later, he wondered why he hadn't ever thought of that before. It almost seemed obvious in hindsight that Makoto wouldn't have pushed himself so hard to do something he had been afraid of since childhood if Haruka hadn't been there. If Makoto hadn't wanted to please him in some way.

The thought made Haruka's brow furrow as he glanced once more over at Makoto's empty desk. His phone had yet to vibrate with a new text message. Before the night previous had happened, Haruka would have been relieved to have a little time away from Makoto's sometimes-overbearing mothering; now all he felt was annoyed and somewhat upset that he wasn't there.

The entire morning was spent with Haruka in a fog, and when the bell rang for lunch he almost didn't hear it. His morning classes had gone completely over his head; he spent a majority of his time with his eyes either glued outside or darting over to a still-empty desk, as if Makoto were hiding on a different plane of existence and Haruka could make him appear if he looked at just the right moment. He looked down at his notebook, where he had been doodling instead of taking notes, and found a sketchy rendition of Makoto's smiling face staring back at him.

Annoyed, Haruka flipped his hair out of his eyes and shut the notebook with a snap, shoving it into his bag and retrieving his lunch, before remembering that he hadn't had time to make himself anything and Makoto wasn't there to supplement his forgetfulness. He made his way to the cafeteria to buy himself some bread, then headed to the roof where the rest of the swim club ate.

It was tempting to just skip lunch with everyone but even Haruka realized that having both Makoto and himself missing would raise questions that he didn't feel like answering. Though the two of them were best friends, so perhaps the questions wouldn't be as annoying and intrusive as he was expecting. Still, he knew Nagisa was a lot more intuitive than most people gave him credit for, and the last thing he needed was for him to pick up on the change between the two of them since the happenings of the night before.

As soon as he opened the door to the roof, Haruka was greeted with an enthusiastic, "Haru-chan!" from Nagisa, and much more sedate greetings from Kou and Rei. He acknowledged them with a nod, sitting in his usual spot and ignoring the conversation in favor of opening his bread and ignoring the weight of the phone in his pocket. He pulled it out just to see if the battery had died and that was why he still hadn't heard from Makoto, but it had been fully charged when he left that morning, and sure enough the battery indicator still showed it was nearly full.

Tapping at the buttons, Haruka finally gave up on waiting for Makoto to say something, entering his mail system and sending a brief message.

 

To: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: ???  
Date: 09/14 12:26

Where are you?

 

He hit send, then stared at the phone so as not to miss any reply that might come. Makoto usually answered his messages immediately if he possibly could. One minute went by, though, then two, and still nothing had arrived. Haruka was starting to get annoyed.

"Hey, Haru-chan!" Nagisa said, cutting through Haruka's irritation. He looked up and raised his eyebrows ins response. "Where's Mako-chan, anyway?"

"I had been wondering where Makoto-senpai was," Rei admitted, pushing his glasses up in a way that annoyed Haruka, though he never said so out loud.

"He's not here," Haruka said, not bothering to keep the bluntness from his voice. He had spent his entire morning obsessing over Makoto's whereabouts, he had no more patience to spare for anyone else.

"I wonder if he's sick," Nagisa asked, and though it was clearly meant to be rhetorical, Rei and Kou started speculating on the state of Makoto's health. Haruka went back to tuning them out, staring down at his half-eaten bread and wishing it was one of the handmade lunches Makoto brought for him sometimes. He shoved the bread back into the plastic packaging, not hungry all of a sudden, and stood to return to the classroom. If the others noticed or said anything about it, Haruka didn't notice, or care.

The rest of the day passed much the same as the morning had, and by the end of it Haruka felt like he had lived an entire school week in the space of eight hours. He had been convinced at once point during Classical Japanese that time had been going backwards.

There was still no message from Makoto.

Even during swim club practice, the time of day he looked forward to the most, Haruka found himself preoccupied with Makoto rather than with the water. Even the soothing lapping of the chlorine-bright wake from the other lanes as Nagisa and Rei worked to improve their times did nothing to clear his mind. That afternoon, he boasted the worst times that he had swam since they began the club several months before. He didn't much care about his times even when Makoto was there, even when Makoto was the one keeping time, but something about it grated on Haruka's nerves. One more little thing to add to the pile of little things that served to ruin his day.

For once, Haruka didn't linger in the pool after practice, skipping a shower and drying off just enough to put his uniform back on so he could return home. The walk back was long, and without Makoto to fill the silence Haruka had nothing to focus on but his own thoughts, the crash of the distant waves drawing his attention but not keeping it for long. He could go to the beach and swim, if he wanted, but for once the thought of swimming didn't capture him. If he was in the ocean, he might miss a call from Makoto. No, the bathtub was fine for the night.

When Haruka reached his house, he dropped his things in his bedroom, reminding him of the afternoon before. It was starting to get annoying, how many things reminded him of what happened. After a few moments, Haruka reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, setting it on his desk. He stalked out to the back garden, crouching down to play with the two cats who came meowing to him once they spotted him. He petted them, glad of the distraction no matter how temporary. When the sun began to dip below the trees and the wind shifted directions to blow cooler air from the sea, Haruka stood and headed inside. He still had to bathe to wash off the chlorine from practice -- a complete excuse, of course, since he'd bathe even if he had showered before leaving school -- and prepare something to eat. Haruka paused at the door, turning to face the wind and letting it ruffle his hair. It smelled salty and inviting, and for a moment Haruka reconsidered not going to the beach.

A faint chime from Haruka's bedroom shattered that thought before he could make up his mind, making the decision for him. He barely had the presence of mind to shut the door behind him as he walked to his room, his stride longer than usual as he fought not to run. He stared at the phone, boasting of "1 New Message," his stomach fluttery as though there were a whole pond of frightened goldfish trapped inside of him. Finally, he flips the phone open and looks at what Makoto sent him.

 

From: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: Sorry!  
Date: 09/14 17:56

I'm sorry I wasn't in school today! Ran got sick and had to go to the hospital, and Ren refused to go to school without her. I had to stay with him at the hospital while mom was with Ran and dad went to work. They didn't let me turn my cell on while we were inside, and we just got back home a few minutes ago. Did I miss anything important?

 

The rush of relief Haruka felt upon reading the text was tempered by a sense of guilt that he should feel any relief when Makoto's sister had to be taken to the hospital. But Makoto wasn't avoiding him. He had a perfectly reasonable excuse for not being in contact the entire day. He bit the corner of his lip as he considered what he should say in response. All of his worries from earlier that day seemed stupid, now, and he felt foolish for having doubted Makoto, or worried at all.

In the end, his reply to Makoto was a simple one.

 

To: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: RE: Sorry!  
Date: 09/14 18:12

Hope your sister gets better soon.

 

From: Makoto (makomako1117@softbank.co.jp)  
Subj: RE: RE: Sorry!  
Date: 09/14 18:14

Thanks! I'll tell her you said that, she'll be really happy. She loves her Haru-nii-chan (^v^)

 

The inclusion of the emoticon made Haruka snort, half out of amusement and half out of exasperation.

"Idiot," he murmured as he shut his phone, putting it into his pocket and heading to the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He grabbed his apron on the way to the refrigerator, tying it on as he pulled the door open to decide what he wanted to have with his mackerel that night. All of a sudden, for no particular reason at all, Haruka was famished.

Once his meal was finished, Haruka allowed himself a bath after scrubbing the chlorine out of his hair and off his skin. He settled into the warm water, his phone in plain view on the sink counter. He still hadn't replied to Makoto's last message, though it didn't demand a reply. He wanted to ask Makoto about what had happened, to ask him if things had changed. If he _wanted_ them to change. He didn't know how to approach the subject, though. Not without sounding weird.

Most of his bath was spent composing text messages in his head, his fingers dragging through the water as he tried to imagine Makoto's response to each.

_I don't want things to be weird between us..._

_Does what we did change things?_

_What exactly did you mean when you said you liked me?_

_I'm not rejecting you, I just don't know how these sorts of things work..._

Each message he thought of felt awkward, and like it was inviting a conversation he didn't know if he wanted to have with Makoto. About an hour later, once the water had gone cool and the rays of the fading sun had disappeared completely leaving the house dark, Haruka exited the bath and returned to his room without sending anything to Makoto.

Haruka seated himself at his desk, making a halfhearted effort at doing his homework, but the day spent not paying attention left him not knowing what he should focus on. He filled the margin of a math worksheet with abstract sketches of familiar-looking eyes, erasing them when he realized what he was doing. Even after getting in contact with him, Makoto was taking up his thoughts, and Haruka didn't know how much longer he would be able to take it. If he had known he would go completely crazy after watching that stupid video Moriyama had lent him, he never would have invited Makoto over to see it with him.

Shoving his textbook aside, Haruka opened his laptop. A few clicks later and he was at the first free porn site on the list of results from his search. He stared at the webpage with some trepidation. It was probably a bad idea, but he thought that perhaps if he watched something without Makoto, he would be able to take his mind off of his friend. After all, it was porn that started the whole thing, perhaps it would solve the problem as well. He clicked on the first video on the homepage, that day's most popular video, and watched as a petite woman with large breasts and short brown hair dressed in a french maid costume serviced a nondescript man she called master.

It was weird, and Haruka wasn't sure why his classmates seemed to prefer big breasts on women. They just seemed like they got in the way rather than being sexy, and they bounced. A lot. He clicked back to the homepage and went to the category selection, hesitating for only a second before clicking on the gay porn section. He'd already watched gay porn, so it wasn't as though he didn't know what he was getting into this time.

He couldn't blame the second time on Moriyama, though.

The man in the thumbnail of the first video on the list had hair the same color as Makoto's, though it was cut differently. He opened it, and watched as the two men slid their bodies together, the taller one taking both their cocks in on hand and starting to stroke them to the audible gratification of the man below him. Haruka stared at the video, but other than a faint tightening low in his stomach, he felt nothing while watching. He clicked the back button, pulling up another random video, one where a younger-looking man was using his mouth to pleasure an older man with silver streaked through his hair. Haruka spent the entire length of the video's seven minutes wondering how the younger man was able to fit so much of the older man's dick into his mouth without choking.

Shutting the browser, then the laptop, Haruka made a soft noise of frustration. He rubbed the back of his neck, and contemplated whether he was broken. A guy his age should be getting hard at anything sexy, right? Not just porn, but at thoughts of kisses, and accidental touches. At thoughts of what people did by themselves at night.

Haruka leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. Until the night before, sex had been something he knew existed, but wasn't really interested in trying himself. Then he had seen Makoto, with his blushing face and his eyes lidded, panting and needy. He had touched his cock, had seen how flushed red and hard it was, had felt it twitch in his hand at his touch. He had heard Makoto moan his name.

Sitting up, Haruka ran the back of his hand across one cheek. He was overly warm all of a sudden, and the tightness in his stomach morphed into a firmer sort of need that left him half-hard. He pressed a hand between his legs, readjusting himself in his loose pajama pants, the touch giving him just enough friction to make him hiss in a breath through his teeth.

Standing, Haruka gave up on homework for the night and flopped onto his bed, curling up on his side as he slipped a hand inside his pajamas to curl around his cock. His mind was full of Makoto and how he looked when he came while Haruka jerked himself off furiously. He paused only to tug the waist of his pajamas down so he wouldn't mess them up, his breathing puffing with his effort and his heart beating a furious rhythm in his chest.

When Haruka came, it was with the memory of how Makoto had looked when he had asked if he could help Haruka touch himself; he hadn't realized Makoto could look so sexy. Makoto was always just his friend, the guy he had known since they were both little. When had he become so handsome?

Rolling over, Haruka reached for the box of tissues he kept on his nightstand to clean himself up. He had more questions than answers, and didn't know who he could talk to. And above it all, he had the overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and call Makoto to wish him good night. Haruka ignored the impulse, instead pulling the covers up to his shoulders and resolutely shutting his eyes.

It was the most restful night he had had in a long time, and in the morning he woke with the fading memory of dreams filled with green eyes and a kind smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can wrap this up in one more part. Crossing my fingers. (Send help, I've lost control of this story)


End file.
